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Hey y’all! Today… “Squawk! Polly wants a cracker!” Oh, that’s my parrot, Polly. I better go give her a cracker. She gets pretty mean if I dont “SQUAWK!” See what I mean… “Polly wants a cracker, NOW!!!! SQUAWK!” OK. I’ll be right back.

“Ouch! What? AUGGH!!! MONKEY!!!” Whew! I’m glad that’s over. A monkey somehow got in the house! Anyway… *CRASH!* What’s that? Wait, Is that Paul Revere? “THE REDCOATS ARE COMING! THE REDCOATS ARE COMING!” *CRASH!* Yikes! Wonder how he got here. *mmmmmmmmm………* What’s that noise? It sound like humming. And it’s getting louder! *BOOM!* Yikes! My roof just blew up! And what’s that in my front yard? A UFO? And what’s that green thing… Oh no, it’s a-a-a-a “Take me to your leader”.

ALIEN!!!!!!!!!!

*We interrupt this program to give special news.*

“Ronald is in Whit’s End right now, and it’s crowded! Ronald, what’s happening there?”

Well Bob, Whit has made a new invention called the “Saturation Station”. It’s a machine that is changing the world of agriculture as we know it! Farmers from around the world are going there to try it out, and boy are there a lot of farmers in the world! Everyone there is having Ice cream too, and since there are so many people, Whit has to resort to Cucumber icecream! Back to you, Bob.”

“Thanks Ronald. Tune in next time for more random stuff!”

*And now back to your scheduled program*

Well I got rid of the alien! I happened to have a flamethrower lying on my kitchen floor! Now, finally for the news! I… “Grrr…” What was that? Oh no. Don’t tell me. BEAR!!!